Reduce Stress and Eliminate Assumptions by finding the Editor within you.

When taking the time to write a book, an article, or even a blog post we benefit from the ability to edit our work prior to publishing it.   Ultimately ensuring better quality, clarity, and understanding of the outcomes we are trying to produce.   In a similar fashion, if we take a moment when caught up in real life situations to become our own editor, we have the ability to separate fact from fiction and reduce unnecessary stress / drama from our lives.  In her book, Reality-Based Leadership, Cy Wakeman describes this technique as "Editing Your Story".   It not only has helped me personally multiple times in the past, but it has allowed me to help others when coaching them through personal or professional struggles.

In its most simplest form, this technique is made up of five steps.

1. Write down your story
2. Cross out things you don't know for sure, highlight the facts
3. Re-focus on the facts
4. Re-evaluate those facts and figure out what you can do to add value to the situation
5. Perform that action.

To help illustrate this technique, let's imagine a professional situation one could possibly encounter.

Step 1 - Write down your story

The industry you have been working in has been going through tough times.   Business is doing well, but it seems as if it has just not been growing as much as your leadership would have liked to see it.   Margins are low, so not much extraneous spending was occurring (e.g. Training and Travel cuts).   Rumors started to go around the office that the company was thinking about doing layoffs.   That morning you went to work, and after a meeting you were walking down a hallway and said "hi" to your boss as you passed by him.   Not only did your boss not say "hi" back but he didn't even acknowledge you and walked on quickly down the hall, something must be going on.    You had planned to have lunch with that boss that afternoon to talk to him about the atmosphere at work, but when you got back to your desk you saw he had cancelled his lunch with you.   Now, your mind started to race.   The first thing you thought was today must be layoff day, and that you must be on the list.   He didn't want to make eye contact with you because he knew he would have to let you go and that's why he had to cancel lunch.   You started to wonder if that meant you were going to be let go prior to lunch, and began to think about where you were going to get the money to make ends meet for the family.   What if this didn't come with any severance?   How soon could you actually find a job, and would a pay cut have to happen?   If so, what sacrifices would your family have to make?   Your stress levels are getting high, your on the verge of panicking, what should you do?

1. Inform your co-workers that everyone is getting laid off today, and that they need to begin preparing for what they are going to do?
2. Start brushing up your resume, calling contacts, and trying to find new opportunities?
3. Take a step back, separate fact from fiction, find the editor within you and edit your story before taking things to far?

Although we maybe tempted to start to do #1 or #2, the best choice for us in this situation is 

#3.   It's not going to take very long to do, and it will help you bring clarity and understanding to your mind before you make any rash decisions.

Step 2 - Cross out things you don't know for sure, highlight the facts

The industry you have been working in has been going through tough times.   Business is doing well, but it seems as if it has just not been growing as much as your leadership would have liked to see it.    Margins are low, so not much extraneous spending was occurring (e.g. Training and Travel cuts).    Rumors started to go around the office that the company was thinking about doing layoffs.   That morning you went to work, and after a meeting you were walking down a hallway and said "hi" to your boss as you passed by him.   Not only did your boss not say "hi" back but he didn't even acknowledge you and walked on quickly down the hall, something must be going on.    You had planned to have lunch with your boss that afternoon to talk to him about the atmosphere at work, but when you got back to your desk you saw he had cancelled his lunch with you.   Now, your mind started to race.   The first thing you thought was today must be layoff day, and that you must be on the list.   He didn't want to make eye contact with you because he knew he would have to let you go and that's why he had to cancel lunch.   You started to wonder if that meant you were going to be let go prior to lunch, and began to think about where you were going to get the money to make ends meet for the family.   What if this didn't' come with any severance?   How soon could you actually find a job, and would a pay cut have to happen?   If so, what sacrifices would your family have to make? 

Step 3 - Re-focus on the facts

Facts are:   Industry is going through tough times, Business is doing well, Margins are low and spending is tight.   You saw your boss this morning, you said "hi" to him and he didn't acknowledge you, and he had to cancel his lunch with you today.

Everything else was part of story you began to write for yourself, by editing it your now down to just what you know to be true.

Step 4 - Re-evaluate those facts and figure out what you can do to add value to the situation

After looking at the facts, in this case, there really is no need to stress out.  All you need to do is really continuing providing your best day in and day out.

We don't know what happened, and really at this point and time we don't need to know.   Although we focused on the negative, maybe just maybe your boss is a real person too.   Maybe he didn't acknowledge you because he was deep in thought because he just got a call from his family about a problem at home and cancelled your lunch because he needed to run home and take care of it.   We really don't know.   There is not benefit in speculating either way.  Stick to the facts, and go from there.

Step 5 - Perform that action.

In this case, send a request to your boss to reschedule your lunch, so you can have that discussion you've been meaning to have and continue to do your job.   

Conclusion

For a simple technique, there seems to be a lot to remember, but really its not that hard.   Separate Fact from Fiction in the story your evaluating, focus on the facts, and act on those and those alone.   Discover the editor of your life story within you, reduce your stress, and begin to make a difference in the quality of your life.

"Begin challenging your own assumptions.  Your assumptions are your windows on the world.  Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in."

- Alan Alda

Have you found the editor within you?  How has editing your story helped you?   Looking forward to understanding if this technique impacts your lives as much as it does mine.