Everyday Leadership

Everyone has the ability to be a leader, leadership is not about a title, a role, or a responsibility.  It is about the actions you take.   It is about the words you use.   It is about being true to yourself and others.   Most people do not realize the impact that they have on others with acts that may seem meaningless to them.    Drew Dudley talks about this as being "Everyday Leadership", and I cannot rave enough about his Tedx Toronto 2010 talk on the subject.  For me, its a message that succinctly epitomizes how the world should look at leadership.   The video is less than 7 minutes long, 1.3 million people have watched it so far, so if you haven't seen it already do yourself a favor take a few minutes and watch it here:  http://www.ted.com/talks/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership before you even read the rest of this blog.

During the video, Drew tells a story about how he impacted a young woman's life, without ever really knowing or meeting her.   I'm not going to give away the details, as I definitely want you to watch the video but he called his impact moment a Lollipop moment, and this is how he defined it:

"Lollipop Moment - A moment where someone said something or did something that you feel fundamentally made your life better"  

- Drew Dudley

Drew's contention is that we all treat leadership as something bigger than ourselves, and thus make it unreachable.  But he argued that a large number of us have had a "Lollipop Moment" and never told the individual that impacted our lives.   So the fact that we do not believe our words or actions on an everyday basis have an impact; we are wrong.   We are just one of those people that hasn't been told of that impact.

When I sit back and think about "Lollipop Moments" in my life, I am fortunate enough to think of multiple examples and as Drew indicated in a lot of those examples I haven't taken the time out to tell those individuals the impact they have had on me.   One of the first career related ones I remember was during my first job out of college, my boss at the time was great and treated our team well.   He had been freelancing at a dot com business on the side, and knew they had some openings coming up.   It wasn't the right place for him, but he thought that I would be a great fit there.   Here he was, my manager, at a fortune 500 organization and he was advising me to look at an employment opportunity outside of my corporation.   Definitely not the corporate line, but what I learned from him that day is you have to truly invest in your employees as people and not just employees.   What's best for them, may not always align with what's best for you.   I took his advice, interviewed for that job, and had a great run with that organization.   I met some great friends there that I continue to interact with regularly today.  I also got to participate in a variety of experiences that I likely would not have had if I had stayed at my original position.   Although he may not know it, his actions and words, have helped define one of my core principles on how I manage or treat my employees.   I'm always looking at ways to help them succeed, and working on giving them the skills that will help them in the future.  I hope that future is alongside me, but if it isn't I hope that I've prepared them enough to be a bigger success in their new endeavors.  

I do not live my life in a way that I go out and specifically execute actions to impact others.   I am conscious that I have the ability to impact others, so I live to the best of my ability being true and honest with my beliefs.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"  

- Mahatma Gandhi

Some of the greatest leaders I've worked with, I respect because of their actions and beliefs.  How they handle them in situations day in and day out.   I respect those who put others before themselves and understand the impact they even as a single individual in a sea over six billion people can have on a daily basis.

Leadership is not about making an impact or an impression on everyone you touch, its about making an impact or impression on at least one person.   Making their day better, Making them better.   We all have the ability to be great leaders and great people, we need to step up to that challenge and make it happen.

"I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them FEEL." 

- Maya Angelou

What is your "Lollipop Moment"?   Do you think you've influenced others?   What do you do to practice "Everyday Leadership"?  Let me know, I want to be inspired by you.

Reduce Stress and Eliminate Assumptions by finding the Editor within you.

When taking the time to write a book, an article, or even a blog post we benefit from the ability to edit our work prior to publishing it.   Ultimately ensuring better quality, clarity, and understanding of the outcomes we are trying to produce.   In a similar fashion, if we take a moment when caught up in real life situations to become our own editor, we have the ability to separate fact from fiction and reduce unnecessary stress / drama from our lives.  In her book, Reality-Based Leadership, Cy Wakeman describes this technique as "Editing Your Story".   It not only has helped me personally multiple times in the past, but it has allowed me to help others when coaching them through personal or professional struggles.

In its most simplest form, this technique is made up of five steps.

1. Write down your story
2. Cross out things you don't know for sure, highlight the facts
3. Re-focus on the facts
4. Re-evaluate those facts and figure out what you can do to add value to the situation
5. Perform that action.

To help illustrate this technique, let's imagine a professional situation one could possibly encounter.

Step 1 - Write down your story

The industry you have been working in has been going through tough times.   Business is doing well, but it seems as if it has just not been growing as much as your leadership would have liked to see it.   Margins are low, so not much extraneous spending was occurring (e.g. Training and Travel cuts).   Rumors started to go around the office that the company was thinking about doing layoffs.   That morning you went to work, and after a meeting you were walking down a hallway and said "hi" to your boss as you passed by him.   Not only did your boss not say "hi" back but he didn't even acknowledge you and walked on quickly down the hall, something must be going on.    You had planned to have lunch with that boss that afternoon to talk to him about the atmosphere at work, but when you got back to your desk you saw he had cancelled his lunch with you.   Now, your mind started to race.   The first thing you thought was today must be layoff day, and that you must be on the list.   He didn't want to make eye contact with you because he knew he would have to let you go and that's why he had to cancel lunch.   You started to wonder if that meant you were going to be let go prior to lunch, and began to think about where you were going to get the money to make ends meet for the family.   What if this didn't come with any severance?   How soon could you actually find a job, and would a pay cut have to happen?   If so, what sacrifices would your family have to make?   Your stress levels are getting high, your on the verge of panicking, what should you do?

1. Inform your co-workers that everyone is getting laid off today, and that they need to begin preparing for what they are going to do?
2. Start brushing up your resume, calling contacts, and trying to find new opportunities?
3. Take a step back, separate fact from fiction, find the editor within you and edit your story before taking things to far?

Although we maybe tempted to start to do #1 or #2, the best choice for us in this situation is 

#3.   It's not going to take very long to do, and it will help you bring clarity and understanding to your mind before you make any rash decisions.

Step 2 - Cross out things you don't know for sure, highlight the facts

The industry you have been working in has been going through tough times.   Business is doing well, but it seems as if it has just not been growing as much as your leadership would have liked to see it.    Margins are low, so not much extraneous spending was occurring (e.g. Training and Travel cuts).    Rumors started to go around the office that the company was thinking about doing layoffs.   That morning you went to work, and after a meeting you were walking down a hallway and said "hi" to your boss as you passed by him.   Not only did your boss not say "hi" back but he didn't even acknowledge you and walked on quickly down the hall, something must be going on.    You had planned to have lunch with your boss that afternoon to talk to him about the atmosphere at work, but when you got back to your desk you saw he had cancelled his lunch with you.   Now, your mind started to race.   The first thing you thought was today must be layoff day, and that you must be on the list.   He didn't want to make eye contact with you because he knew he would have to let you go and that's why he had to cancel lunch.   You started to wonder if that meant you were going to be let go prior to lunch, and began to think about where you were going to get the money to make ends meet for the family.   What if this didn't' come with any severance?   How soon could you actually find a job, and would a pay cut have to happen?   If so, what sacrifices would your family have to make? 

Step 3 - Re-focus on the facts

Facts are:   Industry is going through tough times, Business is doing well, Margins are low and spending is tight.   You saw your boss this morning, you said "hi" to him and he didn't acknowledge you, and he had to cancel his lunch with you today.

Everything else was part of story you began to write for yourself, by editing it your now down to just what you know to be true.

Step 4 - Re-evaluate those facts and figure out what you can do to add value to the situation

After looking at the facts, in this case, there really is no need to stress out.  All you need to do is really continuing providing your best day in and day out.

We don't know what happened, and really at this point and time we don't need to know.   Although we focused on the negative, maybe just maybe your boss is a real person too.   Maybe he didn't acknowledge you because he was deep in thought because he just got a call from his family about a problem at home and cancelled your lunch because he needed to run home and take care of it.   We really don't know.   There is not benefit in speculating either way.  Stick to the facts, and go from there.

Step 5 - Perform that action.

In this case, send a request to your boss to reschedule your lunch, so you can have that discussion you've been meaning to have and continue to do your job.   

Conclusion

For a simple technique, there seems to be a lot to remember, but really its not that hard.   Separate Fact from Fiction in the story your evaluating, focus on the facts, and act on those and those alone.   Discover the editor of your life story within you, reduce your stress, and begin to make a difference in the quality of your life.

"Begin challenging your own assumptions.  Your assumptions are your windows on the world.  Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in."

- Alan Alda

Have you found the editor within you?  How has editing your story helped you?   Looking forward to understanding if this technique impacts your lives as much as it does mine.   

Who is your customer?

"A customer is the most important visitor on our premises.

He is not dependent on us.

We are dependent on him.

He is not an interruption in our work.

He is the purpose of it.

He is not an outsider in our business.

He is part of it.

We are not doing him a favor by serving him.

He is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so." 

- Mahatma Gandhi

Think about those words for a minute.  Think about all your daily interactions and how insightful we could all be if we lived all our interactions with that in mind.   I recently just completed reading the book, "The Servant - A Simple story about the True Essence of Leadership" by James C. Hunter, and around the time I started the book I came upon the quote from Gandhi on the website of a fellow blogger and I've found they go hand in hand.  In the book, Mr. Hunter uses a unique story about an executive and a retreat at a monastery to help spread the message about servant leadership, and in the quote Gandhi talks in a sense about letting go of your stereotypical thoughts about the people we serve and changing your mindset to look at service as an opportunity.

I found the book to be a great refresher on why we do what we do.  In it Mr. Hunter states,

"Management is what you do; leadership is the person you are and the influence and impact you have upon the people you come into contact with.

How often do we forget that leadership is not just about getting tasks done, it's about influencing and impacting others.  Gandhi in his quote doesn't define a customer.   Who is the customer to you?  When I first thought about that question, I thought about my wife, my children, my employees, my peers, essentially taking the definition of customer to mean anyone that I have contact with.   Did you?

Mr Hunter states:

"Everyone is a leader because everyone influences other people every day, for good or not so good, which is why you don't have to be the boss to be a leader."

To me this statement is the essence of how we need to think.   Imagine looking at your children as the customer, the person you're influencing; they have given us the opportunity to serve them to mold them to make them what they will become.   The same goes for our employees.  Which employee do you think will respond better?  The one that's being dictated to or the one that's forging their own path with your guidance?   It's the latter.  They are the ones that feel they have more control and ownership of the situation, and thus end up caring more about the outcome of it.   Critics may say that we cannot be servants to our employees or our children because chaos will ensue, but by being a servant leader, by being a person that treats everyone as a customer, you are not giving up your ability to lead or guide.  Those still exist.   I have two boys, and if I would let them have their way, I'm sure they would want to play Minecraft or some other type of video game 24/7, but that's just not going to happen.   Why, you may ask, if I'm their servant and they are my customer, wouldn't I allow them to do it?   As their father and leader, I'm going to balance their wants versus their needs.   They want to play Minecraft, but it's not something they need to do.   Mr. Hunter in the book describes this concept well.

"A want is a wish or desire without regard to the consequences or where the choice will lead....  Servant leadership is meeting needs, not their wants, being their servant not their slave"

Who wants to be a slave?   No one.   Who wants to be a servant and help others succeed?   We all should. As leaders we are still there to guide them.  Now, my sons may not appreciate me not meeting all their wants today, but someday, as most of us eventually do with our parents, we understand and appreciate the guidance we were given.  

In the world of employees and employers some of you may have heard of the Agile methodology.  In an overly simplified nutshell it is a number of principles people utilize to guide how they do their work in an efficient manner.  When companies start out with agile and the concept of self-managing teams is taught, people make the mistake of thinking self-managing = no leaders.  But the opposite is really true.  Leadership is always needed, but someone guides the team, and the teams just self organize how they are going to do things.   As leaders begin to figure this out, and figure out the right mix of what they are doing, they find they see more of the benefits that they were anticipating when initially going through this new track.

This isn't easy, although conceptually it is simple, execution takes practice and hard work.   We need to learn from our experiences.   In the book, Mr. Hunter spends a lot of time discussing a leadership model that can help one towards achieving success.    I will briefly highlight some of these points, but recommend you get the book (a very easy read) to get the full scope of his message.

Let's talk a little about what Authority means and how it contrasts with Power, both of which Mr. Hunter defined in the book.  Let's review those definitions and then discuss further.

"Power - The ability to force or coerce someone to do your will, even if they would choose not to, because of your position or your might 

Authority - The skill of getting people willingly to do your will because of your personal influence."

I don't know about you, but when I hear those definitions, I have trouble imagining someone that wants to be a leader through Power.   All of the best leaders that I have ever worked with I respected due to their Authority and Influence over me, not because of their Power.   It's talked about a little in the book, but think about it, does Power leadership change your behavior?  Does it help the situation the next time around?  I think you get trapped to always be powerful if that's how you lead, and you don't necessarily see the fruits of your leadership growing in others.   That being said, there is a time and place for everything, but in my opinion, Authority wins over Power, 9 out of 10 times.

For me, I relate to it best in the family.  Despite my best intentions, I fall into the trap with Power leadership with my children, Do this! Do That! Do it Now!, but all that really does is alienate me from them.   You see it occasionally as they get older, with the roll of the eyes, or the heavy sighs, and my kids are not even teenagers yet.   Power leadership is not good for relationships.   I want to be a teacher, I want to lead by example, I want to show them how to change, why they need to do things.   I want them to know that I have their back, and that all of these things that we do are to help them as they grow older.   As I mentioned earlier it will take time for them to know that, but for me to truly impact them, I need to continue to work on using Authority vs. Power to lead them.

I know of an individual that has an organization with the word Agape in its name, and at first I did not get it. I thought I did, I thought I understand it meant "Love", but I definitely did not get it and that was clear from reading the book.   But now, after reading this book, I understand that aspect of the leadership model better.  It makes more sense to me, as well as the message he's sending to the world about what his organization means, and now I appreciate his thought process in naming his organization much more.   The book helps define the word "Love" in the triangle.   It is not "Love" in the sense of feelings that we have for one another, but rather about the behavior we portray to one another without regards to the return.  As the mantra goes "Treat others, as you would want to be treated".   It's all about our actions and how we treat people that goes a long way in showing that we respect them, and that is essential in building the influence needed to support them.

Have you ever gone into your boss's office or for that matter the office of one of your peers and tried to have a conversation with them, but they keep looking at their monitor or their phone, as if they are half listening to you?   What do people take from that behavior?   Do you think they respect the conversation?  Do you feel like your time matters to them?   Probably not.   It's a completely different level of engagement that you get with a person, when they turn away from their distractions and give you your full intention.   Be that person, treat them as you would want to be treated, show others respect.   Show them agape love... the love of deliberate choice.

At the end of the day though, to truly change your mindset, to truly treat everyone as a customer, you need to change your behavior.   Mr. Hunter had a couple good takeaways on this point.

"You can learn about leadership by reading books and attending seminars, but you well never KNOW leadership doing these things." 

"Insanity  - continuing to do what you have always done and hoping for different results"

Changing your behavior is key.   Take a moment and evaluate the people in your life. Do you treat them as a customer?   Are you a servant to those that need your guidance?    It is great that you read this blog, but as stated in the book "Intentions - Actions = SQUAT", take your first step today, change one of your relationships. Don't be one of thousands of people that agree with what you've learned but don't change your behavior.  Do it slowly, do it intentionally, continue to work on it day in and day out... and you'll show that you have WILL.  "Intentions + Actions = WILL".  This is the pinnacle of that triangle, the one that all the other points are dependent on...  prove your intentions by your actions.  Don't make excuses that it is hard to do:

"Stretching and growing emotional muscles is much like stretching and growing physical muscles.  It is difficult at first.  With commitment and proper exercise - practice - however, emotional muscles, like physical muscles, stretch and grow bigger than you can now imagine."

Don't look back, don't think twice, start to determine who your customer is and start making small differences today.

Remember, keep your goals high, and you'll achieve greatness.   I'll leave you with this quote from Vince Lombardi that was in the book and I think says it perfectly.

"Gentlemen, we are going to relentlessly chase perfection, knowing full well we will not catch it, because nothing is perfect.  But we are going to relentlessly chase it, because in the process we will catch excellence." 

- Vince Lombardi

Catch your Excellence... Know your Customer, Serve your customer, and Succeed.

Make today, the first day of your best life.

I recently listened to a video presentation by Robin Sharma, that was very motivational, in a way it was an advertisement, but at the same time it provided some concrete steps to help one create a new normal for themselves.

If you haven't listened to Mr. Sharma before, he strives to bring the best out of everyone, and provides tips and insights, inspiring quotes, and lessons to enable people to become world class.   I just recently came upon him and some of his teachings, and I look forward to reading and listening to more from him in the future.

He started out his lesson about "Making Victory your New Normal", with a poem from his child hood.

"Spring has passed.   Summer has gone.   Winter is here....
And the song I meant to sign remains unsung.  For I have spent my days string and unstringing my instrument." 

- Rabindranath Tagore

When I first heard the poem, the meaning didn't register for me, but he went on to explain its purpose and at that point it really hit home.    He explained that it is about a person whose heart is filled with regret over a life half lived and although he always wanted to sing the great song that his life was meant to be, he got busy being busy, so his potential died with him.

How many times have you put off being the person you could be, only to be wrapped up in busy work?  Or mindless activities?   I think back to when I wanted to get to be a better speaker, or when I wanted to get in better shape, or when I got home tired after work and the kids wanted to play;  I didn't just get up and sing my song.  I let meaningless things get in my way, and watched a TV show instead of playing with my kids, or surfed the internet rather than going and exercising or looking for speaking engagements.   I continued to just miss opportunities to "sing my song".

Mr. Sharma thought process was that there were really two things that we'd be concerned with on our death beds  1) Who did you become?  2) Did you leave the world better than how you found it?   After taking in that simple prospective, I found myself questioning why I haven't sang my song.   Why do I let myself continuously get buried in the busy or mindless activities rather than something that could make me even better, stronger faster?

Luckily for me, he gave five different executable tips during this video to help any of us become better people overall.

1) Know that the single fastest way to transform your thinking is to transform your behavior.

If you think about it, actions are always more powerful than words.   As he put it "Ideas without action are fantasy, Inspiration without execution is pure delusion".   The principle here relates a lot to the Be It, Do It, Have It principle that I spoke about in a previous post.   Rather than sitting around and thinking and strategizing about how to be a better writer, start writing.   Rather than thinking about reading more books, just start reading more books.   Make it a habit.    He sited a study by the University College of London, which indicated if you practice things as a habit for 66 days, it ends up becoming automatic, and at the end it actually becomes easier to do this new habit than not do it.

He gave this prospective as another way to look at the first tip

"Practice being spectacular long enough and being spectacular will become your default mindset and regular way of being" 

- Robin Sharma

I don't know about you, but for me, this first tip was very enlightening.   I by nature, get caught up in over thinking things, and my take away here is I just need to move forward with the behavior I want to emulate, and it will eventually help me exercise my mind enough that my thinking will come along.

2) Remember that transformation is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.

He stressed on this point, that if things weren't hard, you really weren't making a change or progress, and if things didn't get messy than you probably are not striving for the genius or the mastery that could exist.   He talked about the myth that exceptional people waited till the right time or when they were inspired to do amazing things, but in fact that all they did was just started.    They didn't fear things getting hard or messy, they knew the secret of winning, is just beginning, and they wanted to take that first step so they could get to the end sooner.

I remember, teaching my son to ride his bike, he really didn't want to do it at first.  He found it hard to peddle, he crashed a few times, but each time he got up and tried again and again.   Eventually overtime, even this transformation step became gorgeous at the end.   He was riding his bike all around the block without no worries in the world, full of elation at his accomplishments, and built up confidence to tackle whatever next transformation came his way.

Mr. Sharma said it well "Everything you now find easy, you once found hard".     Although simple, its a very true statement, and a great reminder as we face any challenge, that we've already defeated or destroyed thousands of challenges on our way to this point in our life, and we'll face many more moving forward.   Need to just continue to work through it, until we get to the end.

3) Live your future and dismiss your past.

When I first saw him lay out this point, I immediately wondered what it was about.   At least I've always learned, learn from your past, don't repeat your past mistakes.   If I dismiss my past, how will I get better?   In this context though, he isn't truly talking about dismissing your past, he states the sole purpose to look at your past is for the reasons I've stated, avoiding past mistakes, and learning from things done before to potentially improve upon them in the future.

His goal here is just to get one thinking about where they want to be in the future.  He suggested having a five minute fantasy every morning, where you would sit down and write a paragraph about where you wanted your day to go, or how would you want to be to living at your best, or about who you always dreamed about being, etc...   Focusing your mind, your goals, and your objectives to those things day in and day out, so that you instinctively change your behavior and your mindset.

4) The words you speak predict the future you will live.

This one is really simple, and easy to implement, don't talk or be negative if you don't want to be in a rut.   People who constantly talk about problems, other people, or create drama, all they are doing is creating a self fulfilling fantasy of having more of that in their lives.   But people who are working at being world class talk more about possibilities, dreams, how grateful they are for things, ect...   Attitude means everything in this world, and having a positive attitude does wonders for all of us.

5) To double your success, triple your dedication to personal development and professional learning.

Although, I agree 100% with the principle of this particular point, at least in this video this point really seemed to be setting the user up for signing up for one of Mr. Sharma's classes.   That being said, everyone needs to continue to better themselves, they need to look at the opportunities to learn, and not necessarily focus on the costs of that learning, but the return on investment they can get from being more educated on a subject.   As Mr. Sharma indicated, all it takes is one new idea or piece of information to elevate ones confidence, performance, or influence in the world.

If you find yourself, leaving this blog overwhelmed with ideas, just do me a favor and focus on one thing.   Start changing your mindset today, change your behavior don't wait to think it through, if its right to do, just make the change.   Hopefully when its all said and done, you'll know the impact you've had on the world and what you became and you'll be glad you made today, the first day of your best life.

Do you hold hostage your best efforts, or do you lead where you are planted?

I can still remember when I first read Robin Sharma's blog "Lead where you are planted".  I was immediately impacted by his words.   I not only related to what he said personally, but I had a few employees at the time that were going through a similar mental struggle, and taking his perspective was eye opening and helped all of us adjust our mindset.

"All too often, we wait until ideal conditions appear before we show up at our best. We promise to display more initiative once we get the promotion, become a superb teammate once we get the raise and do world-class work once we receive the applause. But true leadership is about doing your absolute best under imperfect conditions. And leading where you are planted. "

- Robin Sharma

Think about that quote for a second.   Have you been in a situation where you have waited for things to be ideal before you move forward?   Are you holding hostage your best efforts because you haven't gotten that promotion you deserved?  Did you wait to start that diet until Monday or the new month?   Are you going to start going to the gym after New Year's?    Do you have situations where you will only do the work if you receive recognition?   Truth is, although all of those questions may not have fit your situation, we all do things for recognition.   There are a number of things we do that we should just do because it's the right thing to do, not because you're going to be recognized for it.

I remember working at a job where we were regularly bringing on new hires, but we did not really have a departmental on-boarding process.   We did not batch our hires, so we would spend multiple days with new hires getting them familiar with our systems, office environment, organizational hierarchy, functional specifications, ect... Inevitably, a new hire would end up learning a number of things on the job that they could have learned on day one, delaying their ability to have a more immediate impact.    Having recently networked with a peer at another organization in town, she told me about what they did for on-boarding, and I saw that as the perfect solution for our group.   Rather than wait for someone else to take the initiative, I compiled all the information that was most important to our new hires into a single document and after a few reviews with my peers and my director we had a document to use for future new hire on-boarding.   Now, within a half day, we could sit down and walk through the document with a new individual; it included organizational structure, team definitions, expectations, tips and best practices,  map of conference room, escalation information, and even a glossary of terms.  The new person could keep the document as a reference, and they immediately became better day one than they would have been in the old process.    I didn't do this for recognition; I did this because there was a need, and someone needed to step up and fill that need.    It wasn't my job, it wasn't something that I was going to be measured against, I just wanted to improve the inefficiencies we had developed.   It was purely the right thing to do.   At the end of the day, it freed up current resources, gave a better on-boarding experience to our new hire, and allowed all of us the ability to focus our time on more valuable items for the organization.

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching."  

- CS Lewis

As leaders, we can find ourselves in a number of different situations.   Everything we do, every action we take is a way for us to make a difference.   Robin's point about leading where you are planted helped solidify a belief I had always had but never expressed well.   He stated:

All work is a platform to express creative potential, offer value and make a unique contribution. But we each face a choice each day as we walk out into the world: we can play a victim or we can step up to leadership.  

- Robin Sharma

As leaders, do not allow things to be beneath you.  No task or activity that is done by someone in your organization is menial.   No matter how high in the organizational chart or how low on the organizational chart you may find yourself, you are still a leader at your core and still have the ability to impact someone's experience.  Robin in his blog talks about a bathroom attendant, but lets think of a real world experiences you may have had.  Do you remember that flight where the flight attendant greeted with you with a smile, radiated customer service throughout the flight, and wished you well on your way out?   That flight attendant was leading where they were planted.   Their job isn't to be the CEO of the company or to fly the plane, it's to make your customer experience excellent and your journey in the skies as safe as possible.   The simple act of greeting you with a smile, and wishing you well on a way out, is just one way to lead by example.  The flight attendant could have been a victim, complaining about the schedule, about the destination, or about other passengers, but instead they choose to step up to leadership in the area they were planted.  Take the role you've been asked to do, and excel in it, make it the best that you can be.

"Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better do better" 

- Maya Angelou

When all said and done, leading where you are planted is about doing your best in whatever position / role you are asked to do and not making that effort to greatness conditional.   We all have the ability to make a large difference in the world, if we all just start to lead where we are planted.

  

Fight Human Nature, Assume Positive Intent...

I never cease to be amazed at how many people think other people are out to make their lives more challenging.   I tell teams regularly, "People do not wake up in the morning thinking of ways to make your life harder."   Yet, we all seem to think that, or like to use that as a crutch or excuse in times of trouble.   Even knowing and understanding the power of assuming positive intent, I find myself being suspicious of others' intentions before recognizing where I am going and course correcting myself towards trust and positive intent.

Recently, I ran into a great podcast, "Trust vs. Suspicion" by Andy Stanley, that in a way talks about this concept.   He describes the relationship between trust and suspicion and gives some guidelines on how we can change our mindsets.  One of the things I personally found interesting was his example from Patrick Lencioni book "The Advantage", where he talked about how human nature naturally leads us to be suspicious of someone's intent.   Specifically he talked about what Lencioni referred to as the fundamental attribution error.

"The fundamental attribution error is the tendency to attribute the negative or frustrating behaviors of colleagues to their intentions or personalities.  On the flip side, attributing your own frustrating or negative behaviors to environmental factors."  

- Patrick Lencioni

To put it in a real world context, imagine you see your co-worker constantly getting up to take personal phone calls while working a project with tight deadlines.   You may immediately attribute that to their intentions or personality; for example, they may have a lack of respect for their peers and the organization, or you may think they are looking for ways to leave the organization or do not care about the deadlines in front of you.   All things you've made up because you have decided to be suspicious of the individual's activities rather than just trusting them and assuming positive intent.   On the other hand, if you were taking those personal phone calls, you would not necessarily see an issue with it because you knew you were working late and just wanted to make sure the family was okay or just needed to make arrangements so things were taken care of while you worked on the deadline.   You instantly believe you should get that benefit of the doubt from others, but you do not extend that belief to others.

The key here is to recognize that you are doing this and work to change your mindset.   Start looking at it from the other's perspective and trust that they have positive intentions.  Give them the benefit of the doubt that you feel should be afforded to you.

"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change" 

- Wayne Dyer

Andy Stanley goes on in the podcast to talk about how organizational leaders should handle this once they recognize this is part of human nature.   I thought he made a great point: make it explicit, talk about it as a leadership team and decide to fill gaps with trust and not suspicion.  As he said there is no win organizationally filling gaps with suspicion, but there is a huge win in filling it with trust (even if ultimately proven wrong in the end).   Being intentional about the way you want your organization to think and act is critical.  

Although my work environment largely has a culture of assuming positive intent, it's very easy to get away from that way of thinking in tough times.   We understand that it can be a difficult journey fighting human nature, so if we see our peers stray or start going in a negative direction, we do our best to not feed the fire but to provide words of encouragement or guidance to each other so we can course correct ourselves and get us back on the better path.

If you are a leader of your organization, your organization's culture (assuming you've been around a few years) is largely a make up of how you work and communicate.  You want to definitely build up an environment of trust first, assume positive intent first, and ultimately it will lead to less drama within your organization and in turn better focus and better results.

Make all your relationships, "Clients For Life"

A number of years ago, I attended a seminar where the speaker talked about the client for life triangle.   It's a fairly simple concept, but as with a number of simple concepts around leadership, it can have a big impact on you and your organization if done well.

Here's the triangle:

Client For Life Triangle

At the bottom of the triangle is your client base.   These are the ones that you interact with on a regular basis; they maybe external customers or if your leading operational teams (e.g. IT, Accounting, Maintenance, Security, ect... ) they could be other internal customers.   Either way, they are the ones that you and your teams strive to support on a regular basis.

In the middle of the triangle are your key clients; these are the ones that drive your business.  They help you understand what direction you should be moving in and they are the ones that may be more demanding of your time.   It's possible that you may also be dependent on these clients for continued growth and success, and losing them may prove disastrous.

As a goal, you should know where your current clients fit in your triangle, and you should strive to get them to the top of the triangle and have them categorized as a client for life.   Having a client for life means that you've become a trusted advisor for that client; you've been able to turn the tables, and now they rely on you for guidance and direction.   They will be your biggest advocate to open doors and opportunities for you.  Best of all, you'll become a part of their inner circle, you'll be consulted on decisions before they happen so you can tailor exceptional solutions for your clients, and they'll come to you before problems arise so you can work on tackling them before they become larger issues.

Before I provide you some insights on how to convert those key clients to clients for life, keep in mind this doesn't have to be a business specific engagement.   All of us have "clients".  The term "client" can be applied to friends, your family or your team.   I personally try to strive to apply these insights to every interaction.  This is because at the end of the day I want to be a trusted advisor, I want people to come to me before larger problems occur, and I want to be able to work with them to develop exceptional solutions to hopefully make them even more successful.

"Coming together is a beginning.   Keeping together is progress.   Working together is success."

- Henry Ford

It's not going to be easy to establish someone as a client for life, and your journey doesn't end once you get them there; you need to continue to grow that relationship day in and day out to keep it sustained.

It all starts by showing them that you are in it for the long term relationship and not the short term gain.  In all of your actions you need to show that you are willing to put your clients' interests in front of your own.   This may mean recommending solutions that don't necessarily benefit you, but in the long run have the greatest impact on that customer.   Remember you're in it for the long term relationship, not just the short term..

Once you start to do these things, you then need to show your client that you are genuinely interested in them and their business.  Give them your attention, listen to their needs, don't interrupt them, and hear them fully out.   It will make a difference.  Earlier I spoke about how your client could be anyone, so imagine now that your employee is your customer.   They have come to your office to talk to you about a problem, but you sat there and told them you were listening to them, but were glued to your computer answering emails (multitasking).   How do you think that employee feels?   Are you coming across as genuinely interested in them and their business?   I don't think so.   The same goes for internal or external customers; focus your attention on them and don't let distractions get in your way.   Everyone can tell if you're not genuine.  Even if you think you're the best of actors, actions speak louder than words.  All great actors slip up, and the moment your client believes you have an ulterior motive for what you do, you've just lost that client forever.  

Other than what's already been mentioned, there are two additional key principles in trying to establish clients for life, both of which build upon a number of the prior relationship points.   The first is you need to work really hard to understand your customers' underlying interests, not just their wants.   Be proactive, suggest solutions to your clients, listen to their problems and help them see the possibilities.    It not only shows you're genuinely listening to them, but it shows that you care for their best interest in front of your own.  In my job, I do this day in and day out, I'm always trying to find opportunities to get more ingrained in the day to day experiences of my internal customer.  This allows me to see opportunities for improvement, bring them up, suggest solutions, and ultimately show them that I am looking out for their best interests as I partner with them to make their vision of what's possible a reality.

That is where the second principle comes in: be reliable, do what you say you will do.

If you want to be trusted, be honest, if you want to be honest, be true, if you want to be true honor your commitment.

- Anil Sinha   

I don't think I can stress enough how important it is to make your commitments.   But, if life happens, communicate early and often the issues you've encountered, the hurdles that now exists, and your plan to get back on track.   Be true to yourself, and don't over commitment.    Everyone understand life happens... but don't let it be a surprise and be on top of it, own the struggles, and show your client you're doing everything to make the situation right.

The client for life triangle is a great way to look at the relationships you have established to date, determine where they fit, and help you formulate a plan on how you can change the relationships you have from either clients or key clients to clients for life.   There is significant time, especially at the beginning to get this right, but over time it can become a habit, and just your normal way of doing business.   Trust me, as a leader you'll be better off investing into your clients; after all, its our clients, not just ourselves who determine how successful we can be.

Be it, Do it, Have it...

My journey to start blogging was a long one.   I came up with a number of excuses to not move forward; e.g. I'm not a journalist.  Would I provide any value?  What should I name it?  What would others think?   I just don't have the time.   You name it, and I probably came up with an excuse.

I talked to a few people who I respected, and the message was almost always the same.   Just do it.  Go ahead and get started.   Inevitably they would ask me what's stopping me, and I really did not have a good answer.  After some self-evaluation, I knew there were two things that I had done to myself to create drama around this for myself.  The first being I made a story out of the situation without truly just evaluating the facts, and secondly I found that I had conveniently created myself a set of excuses utilizing the Have It, Do It, Be It way of thinking versus the Be It, Do It, Have It way of thinking (taught by Cy Wakeman).   I'm planning to write more on the story telling portion that we all do to create unnecessary heartburn for ourselves in a future post, but for now let's focus on the Be It, Do It, Have It way of thinking that we should all try to achieve.

I have always set forth different goals and objectives for my career, and in doing so one of them was to find an avenue to share what I've learned about leadership with others.   I wasn't sure what direction to go, but blogging came to mind as a potentially great fit for what I wanted to do. It not only seemed simple to implement, but I actually have a cousin who has a highly successful cooking blog in Europe and watching that grow in itself has been inspirational.   (My cousin is a successful journalist and great photographer in her own right, and she took her combined passions into a blog which has landed her commercials, sponsorships, and even opportunities to meet celebrities like master chef Gordon Ramsay.)

I was pumped and ready to go, but rather than just starting, I started to focus on the Have It way of thinking, and I immediately started to get in trouble.  I started to convince myself to be a successful blogger I needed to HAVE get a good office so I'd have somewhere to focus to write and be left alone.   I needed to HAVE a catchy name for my blog otherwise it wouldn't get noticed, and I had to make sure the domain name was available.   I convinced myself that to really be successful I needed to HAVE a full social media presence, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, ect...  I had it in my head if I could put all these things in place and start actively utilizing them on a daily basis (Do It), that I would become a successful blogger and educator helping me achieve my goals (Be It).   I was wrong, and really at the end of the day, I needed to change my mindset.

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything."

- George Bernard Shaw

In reality, you don't become something by Having It first.   How many running backs in the NFL do you think got there because they bought great shoes?   How many journalists won a Pulitzer prize because they paid great money for a computer or bought an expensive pen?   None.   To be a great running back, you need to practice your running and your movements in and out of tight situations.  To be a great journalist you need to practice your writing and your research capabilities.   You need to Be It first.  The journey starts at Be It, have confidence in yourself and your skills, and jump right in.  Know that you may fail, but get up and just try again as Theodore Roosevelt indicates in this great quote.  At its essence, it signifies that it is better to have tried to succeed than to not try at all.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt 

Knowing my cousin, she would have told me, "who cares what others think, just go out there and do it for yourself; otherwise, it's not worth it."   I'm going to have some blogs that are great and that I'm really proud of, but at the same time I'm going to have some blogs that probably could have seen better days.   But at least I'm trying.  I'm going to do my best to be a blogger and an educator (Be It), I'm going to look for other avenues and opportunities to continue to refine my skills (Do It), and then maybe I'll worry about getting that office, domain name, or Facebook account (Have It).    

Work on changing your mindset.   Catch yourself in the Have It, Do It, Be It mentality.  It's not easy to catch, and honestly not easy to change, but if you are at least conscious that the way of thinking exists you are better off for trying to right the ship and flip it around.    Make yourself "Be It" first, "Do It" second, and worry about "Have It" later, and hopefully your changed mindset will also get you closer to your goals.

Change the Question, Change your Perspective, Change your Mindset

Recently, I have come to enjoy the concept "Change the Question"; it is a very simple concept but does wonders for changing one's perspective and mindset.   In its most simplistic form it teaches you to change a question with a negative perspective to one that is actionable and puts the accountability of the situation on the one person who can impact it the most.... YOU.

I am lucky enough to sit on a steering committee with an organization here locally whose mission is to educate and grow leaders within our community.   As part of that program, every year since I joined it, I have the pleasure to listen to Cy Wakeman share her leadership perspective.   I can guarantee you I never leave one of her seminars without learning something.  This time was no different.   "Changing the Question" was one of many concepts she discussed this year, and as with a number of items Cy teaches, I immediately found it helpful both professionally and personally.

Professional Perspective

I've been in a number of situations where myself or someone I know starts falling into the trap of negative questions, believing the organization is against them, and forgetting we control our own destinies.  Not sure what I mean by negative questions, here are some examples:   "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?"  "Why didn't this group do ....?"  "Why cant .... perform .... well?".  I'm a huge believer in ownership and being in control of one's situation, but sometimes it's hard for us to see through our self generated drama; changing the question allows us to step back and remember we control our own destiny.

"You are the master of your destiny.  You can influence, direct, and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be" 

- Napoleon Hill

Let's try to change the question with the first example above "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?".  Using Cy's technique, this question could be reworded to be "What can I do to make sure I'm informed?".   I know you can see the difference, because it's quite dramatic.  One screams of a victim unsure of how to cope and the other of an individual poised to take ownership of his/her situation and change their destiny.

Imagine a situation at work where an employee or a peer of yours comes into the room and starts complaining about another group.   "Why didn't this group do ....?"   "Why don't they listen?".   You are immediately faced with a choice; you can be part of the problem and join the drama being created, or you can help that individual "Change the Question" and potentially spark a positive transformation in not only that individual but the future interactions with the team in question.    You can either explain to them the concept, and work on trying to define that different perspective together, or just be direct and ask them the actionable and accountable questions: "What did you do to make sure they understood their responsibilities?"   "What have you done to determine the best form of communication with them?"   "How can you help.... learn to perform .... well?"   By "Changing the Question" you're getting the individual to step back from the immediate drama of the situation to look at what they can do to influence change.    My hope is someday my employees will catch themselves complaining about a situation, change the question, and transform their thinking without having to stop by for guidance.

Personal Perspective

From a personal perspective, this concept has also had a great impact on me, and if you have children, I'm sure you will be able to relate to my situation. I have two wonderful boys, but they have their moments when they want to test boundaries or want to think the whole world is going against them. "Changing the Question" has allowed me to have more constructive conversations with them in seemingly trying times in their little worlds.  Let me give you a quick example: the other day my older son was in a bad mood and was taking it out on his brother, and it finally got to the point that he was being disciplined for his actions. His immediate response was "Why do I always get in trouble? Why doesn't my younger brother get in trouble?".  Having just recently gone through this seminar with Cy; I caught on to the fact that he was victimizing his situation. He had absolved himself from any of the responsibility he had in creating the situation, and was trying to redirect the conversation by placing the blame and responsibility on someone else. Given this new technique, all I had to do was ask him, "What could you have done to not upset his brother in this situation?" and "What could you have done to avoid getting in trouble, if you truly felt your brother was in the wrong?". He immediately changed his tune; he was no longer defensive.  He was thinking through the questions, and he provided some valuable insights.  At the end of his disciplinary period, I think he came out with a better understanding, and may at least think twice before getting into trouble again. I'm not saying this technique provides miracles.  My sons will argue again; they're boys, and brothers... it will happen.  But at least in this instance, using this simple technique, we both had a more constructive conversation, and I don't think I could have asked for anything more.

Although this concept is simple, it can only be done well through repetitive execution, as is true with most things.   Do not get discouraged and give up if you stray away from it.  We all have our moments, but just recognize it and strive to improve the next time around.

"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent." 

- Marilyn vos Savant

So next time you are in a situation where you find yourself or someone else playing the victim, spewing negative questions and creating drama, remember to "Change the Question", bring actionable accountability into the situation, and figure out how to improve as you move forward.

Set your goals, Set your ideals, Set your stars... and just GO.

When I started my leadership journey, there were some words that were spoken at my collegiate graduation that made a profound impact on my life to date.   I can't really tell you what was said at the rest of the graduation or for that matter at any of my other post collegiate graduations, but I do remember Herman Cain stepping up to the podium and as a true orator simply stating: 

"Let it be borne in mind, that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goals...  The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach"

"It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideals...  It is a disaster to have no ideals to capture"

"It is not a disgrace to be unable to reach your stars...  It is a disgrace to have no stars to reach"

Overall, it probably took less than a minute to get those words out, which he stated were spoken at his commencement ceremony by Benjamin Elijah Mays a mentor to Martin Luther King Jr., but those words have stayed with me ever since. 


Mr. Cain will never realize the impact that he had on me as a leader, but his reminder to set goals, capture ideals, and reach for the stars is advice that has driven me throughout my career.   It's simple advice I continue to remind myself of as I've changed jobs throughout the years, always modifying where I want to be and how I want to move myself forward.   

The journey for me to do this blog is just another step for me in reaching my goals, capturing my ideals, and reaching for my stars.   I've always sat back and debated starting a blog on leadership, but never really forced myself to take that step forward.   Despite having that goal out there, it was always something that intimidated me.  Thankfully, a recent encounter with Eric Paley encouraged me to jump in feet first and see where it could go.   Eric was a panelist at an event I attended, and being that he was a successful blogger and entrepreneur in his own right, I spoke to him a little after the event and he encouraged me to just get started.   Don't over think it, just go ahead and make it happen, and so with that gentle nudge,  I've decided to do just that.   Thanks, Eric. 

As the blog name indicates, "Necessitate Leadership", I feel we live in a world where leadership is now unavoidable.   Everyone has the ability to be a leader, it's just a matter of deciding at what level we want to engage that ability, be it just by example, via servant leadership, or some other means.    At the end of the day, it's not something we can decide to do or not do, it's something that has to be done in order for us to have success as the world continues to change so much so quickly.   

This blog will focus on resources that I use to continue to grow the leader within me, and hopefully in turn it also grows the leader within you.   While waiting for my next post, remember to keep your goals, ideals, and stars attainable but just far enough away that you need to stretch to achieve them...  If you can do this, you'll always be assured that you're working to be better today than you were yesterday.